Let's get ready to army crawwwwwwllllll!!!!!

We have been noticing a significant jump in Nicholas's abilities recently. We've brought it up to his pediatrician, his therapists, and his helmet guy and are wondering if because of the fact that Nicholas is sitting up far more than he used to, the shunt is being assisted in removing the cerebral spinal fluid from his brain and there's more room for actual brain matter.

We also know that some pathways that were likely damaged because of the brain being squished in utero and during the first year of his life are beginning to regenerate. The human brain is amazing and baby brains are even more so. Even the NICU nurses and doctors told us that would happen - that pathways would likely regenerate.

So we are thinking that because of the combination of all these things, plus the addition of phenomenal therapists, Nicholas is having an explosion of development. He's been trying to roll over completely for ages now. He could roll over, but he wasn't great at it and he really hated being on his belly. I'm sure it was uncomfortable because he wasn't used to being in that position for the first year of his life. Plus, having the g-tube button may have hindered that somewhat too. He recently began sleeping on his belly and enjoying it. I put him down on his back and no matter how many times I've gone into his room to check on him and put him back on his back (wanted to make sure he wasn't stuck!), I'd go back in to find him on his belly again.

He's also started rolling himself around the room to get to places. Obviously this is pretty far behind developmentally, but it's something he couldn't do previously, so it's super exciting! He's become incredibly quick at getting places by rolling there. The other day, Mike and I went out on a date for his birthday (first "official" date night since the twins were born!). One of Zach's amazing taekwondo instructors babysat the kids for us (Zach planned a night of watching about 12 movies and eating popcorn). When we got home, the babysitter told us that Nicholas had been trying to sit up all night. We were floored. He had certainly never tried anything like that for us! She said, yep, he just kept trying. Because the kids were all up (babysitters let you stay up late and eat junk food - they're the BEST!), we were able to see Nicholas roll over to his belly, take his arms, and push up. It was nothing we'd ever seen him do before.

Most recently, I was home on a weekend day and was sitting on the floor playing with Zach. My phone was on the floor next to me and Nicholas realized it was there. He rolled over onto his belly and lifted up his head (getting stronger every single day) and then he started a slow but very determined army crawl towards my phone. I didn't believe it, so I called Mike into the room and moved the phone further away from him. He did it again. We've tried with toys, remotes, dog toys, a brother... but the only thing he currently seems motivated to army crawl for is a cell phone. So. Our cell phones have been hanging out on the floor recently a lot so that Nicholas can get more practice. His therapists were amazed when Mike showed them and Nicholas spent that entire therapy session army crawling for Mike's phone.

When I was pregnant with Nicholas, Mike and I were desperate for information about what hydrocephalus means to an individual. We were scared that we were setting Nicholas up for a difficult life. We needed to understand what we needed for him - how we would be able to help him, what help he would need, what the outcome would be for him. The high risk OB, the neurosurgeon that would ultimately become Nicholas's, my regular OB, even the pediatrician at Zach's office all told us there's nothing we can tell until he's here. The spectrum of how hydrocephalus affects an individual is so wide, and it can change throughout an individual's life, Now that Nicholas is here, I understand what that means. I've become entrenched in an incredibly supportive and strong hydrocephalus community since joining the HA to co-chair the WALK. Just among this small group there is a huge difference in how hydrocephalus has affected them or their loved ones. From a woman with over 200 brain surgeries to a teen aspiring to be a doctor, hydrocephalus has run the gamut.

So every day I remind myself what the NICU nurses told us - let Nicholas write his own story. Don't write it for him, just help him write it. And what an amazing story this warrior is writing.

New Year, New Updates

I've been terrible about updating this blog, but I'll try to be better - especially with all the exciting things going on!

Nicholas is, and has been, very stable. (Knocking on wood right now!). We've had one hospital trip recently and it had nothing to do with his hydrocephalus and everything to do with a user (ahem mom) failure in trying to remove his g-tube button. I couldn't get the syringe inside the spot to release the liquid out of the balloon. I tried several times and since Mike wasn't home to try, I decided to just take it to the experts. The ER had the button out and fixed very quickly.

We have noticed that Nicholas has been having several breakthroughs recently. He's getting much better about sitting up on his own, if we stand him upright he will plant his feet down and straighten his legs until he's standing with assistance, he has started trying out words (ball! mama! dada!), and we've started to feed him baby food along with his formula through the g-tube so he can get nutrients from real food.

I was in Las Vegas for work about a week ago and Mike called me. He had just left the office after Nicholas's appointment with his helmet specialist. When he initially was evaluated, the asymmetry of his head was at 26 mm. At the meeting last week, Nicholas had gotten his measurements done. His asymmetry measured 9 mm. 9. Less than 1 cm of asymmetry. And, his head had gotten smaller than it ever has been before. The helmet specialist told Mike that if this trend kept up, he thinks Nicholas will be discharged from his helmet in April. This is the child the PA in the neurosurgeon's office wanted to not even give a prescription for helmet therapy for! He thought it would be pointless.

Other things -
I went late in January to my Hydrocephalus Awareness WALK chair training. I came back ready and willing to hit the ground running. I'm so excited! I have two fantastic co-chairs who are just as excited as me, we've already started garnering sponsors, and I'll be announcing our location and date within the next couple of days! If you haven't liked our page, please do so ASAP! You can also check out our WALK website or Nicholas's personal fundraising page. We'll be fundraising for the Hydrocephalus Association in his name for the WALK. People can join his team and fundraise for that team as well, create a new team to fundraise in someone else's name (or just a fun team of your making!), or WALK virtually if they can't attend the local WALK. Lots more information to come about helping out in that direction!

As for the other people in our family, Emily started walking about a week and a half ago. She took a few tentative steps and was at that point when I left for Vegas. By the time I got home, she was fully walking. It happened very fast. I was very worried because Zach was an early walker (he was pretty much walking by 10 months), but again I've been taught by my kids that things happen on their own timeline and when they're ready, it's go time. Zach is still doing fantastic at taekwondo, he has a tournament in April and he's going to compete in sparring for the first time ever. His instructor swears he's ready, and I believe him. Zach absolutely loves his sparring class. I have to admit I was really nervous for him to start sparring, it seems so violent for such a little guy. But, it's points sparring, so the idea for the match is to get points, not knock out your competitor. Of course, it's possible that he'll get kicked or punched the wrong way and get hurt, but frankly he could get hurt playing soccer or baseball as well, so we just learn the safe and right way to do things (learning defense is a HUGE part of class) and try to minimize the risk.

Again, I'll try to be better about updating the blog. I know that I've done such a terrible job lately.

The Night Before

Tomorrow I will go to my first Hydrocephalus Association WALK. This WALK is in South Florida and has been running for a significant amount of time and is a largely successful WALK (at this time of writing they are hovering near the $50,000 donation mark). 

A year ago we were about to meet the members of our family that would complete it. A year ago hydrocephalus was an abstract term to us. We knew our son had it but we didn't know what that meant. Would our son be able to function? Would he have any brain damage? What kind of future would he be looking at?

A year later hydrocephalus is integrated into our lives. When I initially reached out to the HA about a WALK in central Florida, I didn't really think about the logistics of actually running one and here I sit in south Florida getting ready to embark on this journey. It's an exciting precipice to stand on. This time next year I will very likely have my first WALK under my belt. What a difference a year makes. 

Hydrocephalus Awareness Month Post 1: What Is Hydrocephalus?

The first in a month long educational series for Hydrocephalus Awareness Month.

I have answered this question a few times on this blog, but probably the biggest thing I get asked is "What is hydrocephalus?" The word hydrocephalus comes from the Greek hydro (water) and cephalus (head), thus water on the brain. In a person not affected with hydrocephalus, the brain fluid (cerebral spinal fluid) is produced within the ventricles in the brain and in the choroid plexus. It circulates through the ventricular system within the brain, and then is absorbed into the bloodstream. The fluid is constantly in motion and has several purposes, including to cushion the brain to act as a protector against injury, to provide nutrients and proteins to the brain and to carry waste away from the brain. In most brains this system works well and the ventricles remain within a normal range which keeps the pressure inside the brain at the appropriate levels.

In a brain affected with hydrocephalus, for some reason (and there are several), the cerebral spinal fluid is not circulated out of the brain into the bloodstream, or CSF is developed at too quickly a rate for the brain to effectively remove it. This causes the ventricles to enlarge and increase pressure inside the head. In worst case scenarios, the result of the increased pressure is brain damage.

Hydrocephalus does not differentiate between race, sex, or age. It affects infants, children, young adults, and the elderly. Over 1,000,000 people in the United States currently live with hydrocephalus and for every 1,000 babies born in the US, 1 to 2 will be born with hydrocephalus. Hydrocephalus is the most common reason for brain surgery in children.

Normal brain CT scan - dark areas are the fluid in the ventricles

Brain with hydrocephalus - notice the enlarged ventricles in the shape of a butterfly.

There are several different classifications of hydrocephalus:

Congenital Hydrocephalus: This is the type that Nicholas is affected with - it is present at birth and is typically caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors during fetal development. It is typically diagnosed before birth with ultrasound and fetal MRI (Nicholas was officially diagnosed at 21 weeks gestation but our attention was brought to the possibility at around 13 weeks gestation when he had ventricles on the high end of normal during the NT scan).

Compensated Hydrocephalus: This is diagnosed in adulthood but may have been congenital.

Acquired Hydrocephalus: This develops after birth as a result of head trauma, a brain tumor, cysts, brain bleed, etc.

Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus: This occurs in older adults when the ventricles increase but the pressure does not increase within the brain. The cause of this is typically unknown and it is often - upwards of 20% of the time - misdiagnosed as Alzheimer's. You may have seen a recent Grey's Anatomy about this type of hydrocephalus.

There are several causes of congenital hydrocephalus and the cause of Nicholas's is the most frequently occurring cause: Aqueductal stenosis. There is a passageway between the third and fourth ventricles in the brain (in the back of your head) called the aqueduct of Sylvius. Aqueductal stenosis occurs when this is either narrowed to the point where CSF cannot be effectively removed or there is a complete blockage. We believe Nicholas has a complete blockage based on the CT scans of his brain. I've frequently been asked if we could just have surgery to go in and remove the blockage and at this time, that technology does not exist.

When Nicholas was officially diagnosed with hydrocephalus (he didn't even have a name yet at that time!), his ventricles measured 13 mm. Ventricles that are within normal ranges are expected to be  below 10 mm. For comparison, in the same MRI that officially diagnosed Nicholas, Emily's ventricles were 4.5 mm. At the last ultrasound that I remember his ventricles being measured (I had one ultrasound per month due to my "high risk" pregnancy with twins and ahem advanced maternal age), his ventricles were measuring at around 55 mm. He was born with a head circumference of a typical 18 month old.

Stay tuned tomorrow for more about hydrocephalus. What is a shunt and is it really brain surgery?

Hydrocephalus Association WALK

Hydrocephalus is not a well known condition. Unless you've met someone who was willing to talk about it or you know someone who has been diagnosed with it, the likelihood that you're aware of it is slim. Certainly Mike and I along with our families (with the exception of my nurse sister) had not heard of it until halfway through my pregnancy when Nicholas was diagnosed. 

After he was officially diagnosed, the first thing I did was try to reach out to a community. A group that knew what this was, what the prognosis could be, people who had walked in these shoes before. I was disappointed to find that there wasn't really a community local to central Florida. I found groups on Facebook that have been helpful, albeit faceless. I wanted a support group, to look someone in the face and see my potential future. To hear the best and the worst of this world I was now facing. We have had tremendous support from our families and friends. We have prayers from around the globe. When Nicholas winds up in the hospital we get messages and texts and phone calls and offers of help. And each and every one of those is felt and appreciated and held close to our hearts. It would be helpful to also have a place to sit down with other parents or people with hydrocephalus and say what we see and hear what's worked for others. To have someone know that while in most babies crankiness and refusal to eat probably indicates something benign like teething or maybe an ear infection, your heart is terrified that in your hydro baby it means a shunt failure and your child may be in brain surgery tomorrow. 

In my research I ended up finding the Hydrocephalus Association. I devoured their educational material. I read each and every success story. I sobbed watching the video about the woman who has had 20 revisions in her 25 years of life (that's 20 brain surgeries!) and whose fiancé stood right by her side as she underwent each of them. And I learned about the Hydrocephalus Association WALK. I became excited because what better place to meet the hydrocephalus community than at a walk! I searched several times and didn't find a walk scheduled in central Florida. I ended up sending an email to the address listed on the page asking when (or if) a walk would be scheduled in central Florida. A few days went by and I finally received a response that a WALK hadn't yet been started here but if I were interested in volunteering to start and chair one they would love to talk to me.

At first I laughed. Me. A full time job, a pre-schooler, and twin babies, one of whom has medical complexities. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought why not me? Often a change starts with a single voice or a single step. This is a major metropolitan area and happens to have one of the best neurosurgeons in the nation. He does over 200 shunt placements a year. Clearly there is a community here of hydrocephalus warriors, why couldn't I be the first person to take a step towards uniting us? 

When the event chair from HA called me, I listened to her closely. She explained that of the 35 WALKs nationwide, 100% of them are completely volunteer driven. The WALKs bring in approximately 50% of the Association's annual revenue which goes towards funding research for better and more effective treatments and hopefully eventually a cure. The HA provides training and helps you along the way, but the volunteers bring the walk to life and keep it running. The HA has long wanted to bring a WALK to our area but since it's volunteer driven they needed someone to commit to bringing it in and they haven't had that yet. She told me that if I was interested in getting more information after our conversation she would email me a more detailed description of everything the chair would require. She warned me it would likely be overwhelming and it was designed to come across that way because, though it was very doable, it was a commitment and they wanted us to know that. I agreed to receive the information and look it over. As I read it, rather than become overwhelmed, I felt empowered in the face of a condition that has left Mike and I feeling powerless at times. If I could help just take that first step towards getting this going, I could be part of a force that may eventually make it so no other parent had to deal with this, or no other child had to watch a parent develop this. 

Beyond just that, what a fantastic way to help bring together the hydrocephalus community! Perhaps there could be support groups offered, help with understanding hospital bills, a volunteer translator who goes along to doctor appointments and makes sure the parents or patients understand. The possibilities are endless. 

We have met several people who have hydrocephalus or are parents of children who have hydrocephalus since Nicholas was born. These are all people yearning to meet others in our shoes. 

Provided everything goes smoothly, the HA is shooting for a fall 2016 WALK in central Florida. Keep an eye out for updates!