We knew after Zachary that our family wasn't quite complete. I was ready to try for our second child before Mike was, but eventually we both got on the same page and began to try again. I was hoping that it would take less time overall this time (total time to get pregnant with Zachary was 9 months - including the miscarriage), since my body knew what to do. That was before I knew was secondary infertility was.
After about eleven months of trying with absolutely no results, a friend talked to me about reaching out to a fertility specialist for help. She knew it was tearing me apart that I hadn't gotten pregnant yet, and since I was rapidly approaching AMA (advanced maternal age), my stress was only increasing every month we weren't successful. I did some research and decided it might be the right step. I knew several people who had gotten pregnant with help and the consensus among all of them was that they wished they had reached out for help sooner. Mike wasn't ready to move forward with fertility yet, but again, we both got on the same page and we soon had our appointment.
The first thing you have to do as a new fertility couple is test. Lots and lots of tests. The first day we had our consultation, my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) ordered gobs of blood work. I think they took about ten vials of blood that day. He also ordered an HSG (hysterosalpingogram) for me and a sperm analysis for my husband. They are looking for trends, for reasons why you may not be pregnant yet. While many infertility diagnoses are something going on with the woman, there are many men who receive infertility diagnoses, so they check everything.
The HSG test is basically to find out if there are any blockages in your tubes or anywhere in your uterus. For me, it was a painless test. They insert a dye into a tube which then goes into your uterus and through your fallopian tubes. They watch the dye through an x-ray and can see if the dye stops anywhere it isn't supposed to, which indicates a blockage. It was very cool to watch, and since it was virtually painless for me, this was an easy test.
After all the testing on both sides were complete, we met back up with the RE to find out what was wrong. Even though it sounds strange, I was hoping he had found something to pinpoint. A diagnosis of unexplained fertility would have been even harder to come by than a diagnosis that something was "wrong" with one of us. At least if they knew what direction to head, we wouldn't have to try throwing everything at the wall and see what sticks.
A diagnosis was received. They suspected I had endometriosis and a weak luteal phase. Endometriosis is a disorder where the endometrial cells that typically line your uterus somehow leave the uterus and attach themselves to other places. There are four stages and while they're not exactly sure why this disorder causes infertility, it's actually the leading cause of infertility among women. A weak luteal phase is basically that my body wasn't producing enough progesterone in the second half of my cycle to maintain a pregnancy. Basically, we could have had an egg fertilize, but because my body didn't produce enough progesterone, my body wouldn't realize I was pregnant and would trigger me to finish off my cycle, getting rid of the fertilized egg. Husband's tests all came back as almost perfect and the RE was very happy with all his tests.
I was upset that the "problem" appeared to be me, but at least now we had a game plan and could move forward.
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