Las Vegas

Just about a year and a half ago, I wrote this post about the shooting at Pulse here in Orlando. We got to hold the honor of being the "deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history." Lucky us. The eyes of the world zoned in on us, people offered prayers, Facebook pictures showed #prayfororlando, world media descended upon downtown, and we were changed. When the national and global media pulled out, when the eyes of the world looked elsewhere, we were left to deal with the aftermath. People at the nightclub had to figure out what to do with survivor's guilt, what to do with their fear of being out in the world, what to do now. Victims stayed in hospitals for far longer than the world watched. To this day, if you drive by Pulse, you will see the fence surrounding it, messages of love and hope and peace adorning the fence, flowers left for the victims and the survivors.

On the one year anniversary, the city came together again. Tears flowed, the names of those lost were read, people visited Pulse and left gifts of remembrance. Four months later, we sit watching in horror as Las Vegas takes the title no city wants of deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history. Before we even know the final count of dead, the final count of the injured, the why behind the shooting, the title has already been claimed.

When does this stop? When do we reach the point where enough lives are enough? High schoolers weren't enough, first graders losing their lives wasn't enough. 49 people celebrating life at a nightclub wasn't enough. Current count in Las Vegas is 58 dead and 515 injured. I'm terrified that number will rise, but is that enough? How many lives are enough that we try to figure out how to stop this? How to fix this?

Las Vegas, from someone who has now watched this happen in two of my beloved places - Littleton and Orlando - I'm so sorry. I'm so sad that you have to become a hash tag. That you will have to figure out how to move forward. For the victims, I'm so terribly sorry that our tragedy wasn't enough to stop this madness. That your lives had to be taken too. That you are sitting in a hospital, injured and shocked and scared. I'm so sorry.