Thursday, April 9, 2015

The Best Big Brother

Over the last week, I have let Zach fall asleep in our bed. The break from his routine and the fact that his bedtime was not constant was hard for a toddler to deal with and it was easier to just bring him into bed with me and let him fall asleep. Mike moved him into his own bed when he got home from work. 

Last night, we were curled up in bed, he was laying with his head on my shoulder and I was scrolling through Facebook. A picture of a child's stomach with a Mick-key button placed appeared in a g-tube group I'm part of. Zach said "Mom? Is that Nicholas's g-tube?" I stopped because I didn't even know he knew the word. Obviously he understands we feed Nicholas through the tube in his belly but I had no idea he knew it was called a g-tube. I told him it wasn't, it was another baby with a g-tube. He nodded and moved on. 

It made me reflect on what a phenomenal big brother he really is. When Nicholas was laying in his crib at the hospital, Zach would climb up on a chair and talk to him. I only overheard some of the conversations but I did hear him tell Nicholas not to be scared or not to be worried, his big brother was here. He loves to make funny faces at the babies to make them laugh. He helps out in therapy, getting Nicholas to track using toys (though Nicholas's favorite thing to track is his big brother). Zach was really made to be a big brother and he was made to be a big brother to a child with some medical complexities. He's never questioned the fact that Nicholas has a big head. He rolled with the punches that we feed Nicholas through a g-tube. During hospital visits as long as he has some toys and a TV, he's happy to hang out all day long, even if we don't think it's fair to him. 

His blind acceptance that this is just how Nicholas is has opened my eyes. What I saw as an inconvenience or a "disability" Zach just sees as how Nicholas eats. When I'm worried sick about how Nicholas is doing in the hospital, Zach just sees this as a new adventure. In the playroom on Nicholas's hospital floor, Zach didn't see "sick kids," he just saw new friends to play with. I hope he has this acceptance of "different" forever. I hope that his kindness and ability to see beyond the difference to the human inside follows him throughout his life. He is a truly exceptional three year old and I learn something from him every day. 


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