Visiting Nicholas

Before I had a child in the NICU, I always had the idea that it was a hectic place, filled with harried nurses running around saving tiny lives. When I visited Nicholas on the fifth floor NICU, the unit was quiet and almost peaceful. Each baby had his or her own room and a nurse sat between two rooms and monitored two babies. The nurses were Angels on earth. They were amazing. Yes, there were alarms and yes, the nurses were in fact saving tiny lives daily, but it was a calm and loving place to be.

My sister and I went in to visit Nicholas. Zachary, having had a bit of a traumatic experience during my labor and delivery, was feeling pretty scared of the hospital in general and didn't want to go in and visit his brother. Because Emily wasn't allowed in either, Mike sat in the lobby area with Zachary and Emily while my sister and I visited. I met the nurse practitioner heading the floor and met the nurse who would end up being one of the two primary nurses that we would have while on the floor. 

The baby next door to Nicholas was very sick and incredibly medically complex. As such, Nicholas was paired with that baby because he was "easier" and the nurse's workload was balanced. The first nurse I met on the fifth floor had been caring for the baby next door for months and so was almost always Nicholas's nurse when she was working. You form a relationship with the nurses. We knew she was planning her wedding. She knew Zachary was terrified to come in. We trusted her with one of our most precious possessions and she proved herself totally worthy of that trust. With one exception, we felt that way about every person we met on that unit. 

The nurse practitioner called for a child life specialist to work with Zachary and make him feel more comfortable. She also worked it so that, as long as Emily got a clean bill of health from her pediatrician at her first appointment, she could come into the NICU also so we wouldn't be split. 

The days became fairly monotonous. We would wake, eat breakfast, complete any errands we needed, drive to the hospital, stay in the room with Nicholas. We usually tried to leave before 7:30 p.m. because that was shift change and we would be locked in our room until 8:30. 

Some days our child life specialist would come and play with Zachary. Some days she would come and take Zachary to the play room on the pediatric unit. Some days there was a child friendly event and we would take Zachary. Some days he would want to spend the whole day in the family lounge in the NICU. We grew to know most of the staff and met several parents (Mike knew more than me).

We were not initially allowed to hold Nicholas because he had a line placed through his umbilical artery. It would be devastating if that were pulled out. It took a week for them to place a PICC line and then we were finally allowed to hold him. It's weird to have a child and be able to see them and talk to them and touch them but not be able to hold them in your arms. It made the moment we could hold him so much more special. And allowed for bonding to finally start happening.